Emily and Kate...

So I just kind of floated around like that for a while. You know how people get into that trap of routine. Then I remember seeing Emily for the first time. She was sitting on my back porch, visiting my roommate Ryan. She did a double take immediately. I was a Sr. at WIU, and she was a freshman at U of I. Somehow, I started talking to her....then everyday..it was nice..but there is a point on the phone that you cant pass. A wall. That once you reach only spending true time together is the way to go. I used to drive over (4 hours) just to spend the weekend with her. It was good. There was one problem...she was young and still a prude to be honest. I remember when we were messing around..she would suddenly freak out and say things like "God is watching us". I mean there isnt much to say to that...and I think she was somewhat embarrassed that people might think she is making out with her boyfriend...Although she did have a freaky side too...which made me want her even more.. She had the finest ass ever. She had been a runner in High school..man that thing was sweet. Plus, she was a big U of I fan..and I got to go to many games the year they made it to the championship game. The best thing about this story is winter break. That was the time when we were falling in love, when there was no distance between us...it was wonderful...She was so kind hearted...really..a little naive...but really a sweet person. I once dressed as the hulk for her...shirtless and all...I loved the times it was just me and her...she always smelled like cotton candy. Now, I foolishly wait for that smell. I can remember dancing and kissing to Bryan Adams..and it makes me miss those times. When I was coming back...being a hopeless romantic. The only thing is...when you are falling in love and have to go back to the distance...it doesnt work...you know what it can be...and you know that it will never be that. Its a funny thing about me. I always try to look at the best part of things, at least in relationships. Eventually, it had to end..and it did.. I think she may have been the last girl that I really had no biased with.
I even had the opportunity to sleep with my teacher, and i passed because I didnt want to be a cheater. My teacher..did the classic.. well finals are today..and so you are no longer my student..Do you wanna come back to my place.. I went back...maybe just curious. I had never been seduced before. Right before, the point of no turning back. I did..I gave her a hug..and left. That was the last time I ever saw my teacher...Jenna.
That brings me to Kate. For her, I must back up a little bit. My friend Mark, was dating Kate. I can remember the first time I saw her. She was so shy, I think it was funny in a way. Well, over the years, she dated Mark, and I dated other people. I could feel the tension building though, especially when it was just me and her. Anyway, she graduated and would come back to visit.. we would hang out. She was incredible. She got me.. I mean she loved to laugh with me.. Gorgeous, humble, funny.. just a total package. The kind of girl that you want to end up with, and I did want her.
My senior year, after Emily. I went into kind of a lul. So I started going to Bradley. Kate was from near Peoria, so we started hanging out...a lot.. Just me and her. I felt bad because I could sense Mark could sense us...but it was an unstoppable force...So she would come and go out with us at bradley. There was one night...me and her were standing in a dark hall way..just looking into each others eyes. I know that she was falling for me. If I only would have known what would happen..I would have gone for it. So graduation came, and she came up to me and gave me a sweet card..that I still have. We where excited because I was going to Bradley for grad school.
We kept in touch over summer, and her and Mark broke up. Well, I tried several times to hang out with her...but she never came...I am not sure why, but she never did. I have never seen her since that day at graduation. Its funny because my heart is still a little broken over that. I mean, I even called her to tell her how I felt...she never responded. She still hasnt. I think that maybe she views it as "what could have been", or maybe she didnt want to hurt Mark. All I know is that. I often wake up at night wondering what happened.
A few months back. I woke up in the middle of the night after a dream that Kate got married. Then a few days later, I saw a picture of her in a wedding dress. Sometimes, I think I am cursed, but maybe these are just heroes trials before i finally get the girl of my dreams. Maybe I will never find her. Its hard finding the girl of your dreams, and then have it end like that. It feels so unfinished, but I tried. So I cant regret anything, and I know that for that short period in the hall way. We could see right into each other...and I guess that will have to be good enough. Although I get sad thinking about that.
Chad, you are the only one that will probably read this, and that is a story that I am not sure anyone knows...but that begins my life as a BU Brave...